I heard you were looking for a launch strategist who could fix your funnel and make you laugh.

Well. C'mon in, capo.

(Capo. In Argentina it means ace, champion, the one who actually knows what they're doing. Not the Godfather kind — though I'd argue you could use somebody in your corner who handles things.)

If I had to guess about you: you're genuinely great at what you do, you're more than a little fried right now, and you probably love dogs. (Same. We're going to get along.)

Here's everything you need to know about me.

MY GUIDING PRINCIPLE:

Nosotros: we

"Donde comen dos, comemos tres. Y si no alcanza, estiramos la yerba."

Where two eat, three eat. And if there isn't enough, we stretch the yerba.

Nobody in Argentina says that as a nice sentiment. It's just the arrangement. Same with this one: if your car dies in the middle of nowhere, we're the first ones out in the rain pushing it — and nobody asks your name first. You don't have to be important enough to deserve help.

That's nosotros. The built-in instinct to say we instead of you. It isn't grammar. It's the whole posture.

So when we work together: your exhaustion is exhaustion we're both sitting in. Your Tuesday meltdown is a shared emotional event. Your wins get celebrated loudly by at least one Argentine.

And when it's clearly all gone sideways, there's a thing we say.

Ya fue — de esta salimos juntos. Forget it. We're getting out of this one together.

I'm not above your mess. I've been in mine.

MY GUIDING PRINCIPLE:

Nosotros: we

"Donde comen dos, comemos tres. Y si no alcanza, estiramos la yerba."

Where two eat, three eat. And if there isn't enough, we stretch the yerba.

That's nosotros. The built-in instinct to say we instead of you. It isn't grammar. It's the whole posture.

So when we work together: your exhaustion is exhaustion we're both sitting in. Your Tuesday meltdown is a shared emotional event. Your wins get celebrated loudly by at least one Argentine.

And when it's clearly all gone sideways, there's a thing we say.

Ya fue — de esta salimos juntos. Forget it. We're getting out of this one together.

I'm not above your mess. I've been in mine.

Hey, I'm Vittoria

and my work lives somewhere between your launch strategist and your tech support.

Which, I know. You started your business to be neither of those things.

I'm not a guru who charges you $8k to tell you to grind harder or "use AI strategically." I'm not going to hold a webinar about my morning routine. I'm the person sitting next to you — comfy clothes, definitely caffeinated — saying "I know exactly how much this sucks, and here's exactly how we fix it."

Fixing sales funnels happens to be both my expertise and my special interest. (There's no version of me that isn't doing this. Ask my friends. They've stopped asking about my day.)

I've been creatively solving problems since before I could spell neurologist.

I live with Cerebral Palsy. My nervous system arrived with custom firmware and zero user manual.

So while most kids were learning to tie their shoes and stand up straight, I was off in the corner earning a doctorate in falling.

And yes — if you want to get from point A to point B in anything, you're going to have to get good at falling.

Here's the thing nobody tells you about falling: it requires you to be completely okay with not being put together.

You feel all this pressure to have it figured out, to arrive with the five-year plan and the matching folders. I'm telling you it's okay to embrace the chaos. It's the only way through it.

But here's what I didn't clock until I was doing this for a living: falling is diagnostic training. Every single time you go down, you run the same triage. Is anything actually broken, or is it just bruised? Can I get up on my own, or do I need a hand?

That's it. That's the exact assessment I run on your funnel. Is this a crack, or is the wall coming down?

My entire business model was installed by my physical therapists. None of us knew it at the time.

I've been creatively solving problems since before I could spell neurologist.

I live with Cerebral Palsy. My nervous system arrived with custom firmware and zero user manual.

So while most kids were learning to tie their shoes and stand up straight, I was off in the corner earning a doctorate in falling.

And yes — if you want to get from point A to point B in anything, you're going to have to get good at falling.

Here's the thing nobody tells you about falling: it requires you to be completely okay with not being put together.

You feel all this pressure to have it figured out, to arrive with the five-year plan and the matching folders. I'm telling you it's okay to embrace the chaos. It's the only way through it.

That's it. That's the exact assessment I run on your funnel. Is this a crack, or is the wall coming down?

My entire business model was installed by my physical therapists. None of us knew it at the time.

One more thing,

So You're Not Wondering

My CP also lives in my speech. On our calls you'll probably miss a word here and there. Honestly? So do I.

I'll ask the question so you don't have to, because I know you feel weird about it. Don't.

[The full answer is in my FAQ →] — but the short version: I've been communicating with this voice my whole life and I'm extremely good at it, the chat box is always running, every call is recorded, and everything that actually matters arrives in a format you can't mishear. Your leak map is a diagram. Your plan is plain English on a page.

That's not an accommodation I bolted on for your comfort. It's how my brain works — and it's why my clients walk away understanding their own funnels better, not worse.

CHAOS, THEN COMEBACK

Argentina has a line about this.

"Expertos en resucitar cuando nos dan por terminados."

Experts at coming back to life when we've been written off.

It's how my entire country talks about itself — thick skin from falling and starting over so many times that the comeback stopped being remarkable and just became the personality.

Which means I got the same lesson twice. Once from my nervous system, once from my passport.

First we learn the chaos.

Then we learn the comeback.

And here's why I'm telling you any of this instead of listing certifications.

You've been written off too. Not by the industry, not by your clients — they adore you. By you. Somewhere in the last year or two you got quiet about it and started wondering whether the broken thing in your business is you.

It isn't. You're mid-fall, and nobody ever taught you the comeback.

I know the comeback. It's sort of my whole thing.

What My Brain Does for Your Funnel

So my brain works differently, and that's not a limitation — it's why I can see your buyer's path in 4D while everyone else is still looking for the login password.

I'm wired for pattern recognition and visual clarity. Show me a wall of text and my eyes glaze over; show me a diagram and I come alive. Which is exactly how we'll work: I'm not going to toss the word "strategy" at you and disappear. I'm going to map your buyer's path floor by floor, show you where she's leaking out, and hand you something you can actually look at.

And there's one more Argentine thing baked into how I work

aguantar con lo que hay.

You make it work with what you've got.

It's why I will never tell you to burn it down and start over. You already own nearly everything you need. It's just in the wrong order.

And once we're in it? Nos ponemos la 10. In Argentina, the number 10 shirt goes to whoever takes the game on their back — Maradona's number, Messi's number.

Here's the thing, though: we're both wearing it. You didn't hire me to play while you sit on the bench and watch, and I'm not standing on the sideline with a clipboard telling you to try harder.

HERE'S HOW WE WORK TOGETHER

"Vittoria is one of those people I'm always glad to have in my corner when something gets complicated.

She has a real gift for taking a messy technical problem, figuring out what's actually going on, and making it feel manageable. What I appreciate most is that she doesn't just solve the immediate problem. She takes the time to understand what someone is trying to accomplish and helps them feel supported and capable along the way. She's incredibly resourceful, thoughtful, and just genuinely good at helping people get unstuck."

— Julie Chenell,

Co-CEO, Funnel Gorgeous & FG Funnels

"Vittoria has become an extension of my team over the past three years.

Instead of building a single funnel, she helped create the entire engine behind my business — from webinar funnels and memberships to onboarding, email, SMS, and over 20 automations that keep everything running smoothly. We've built and refined 6+ funnels, creating a connected client experience that's generated more than $40,000 in revenue. I spend less time piecing systems together and more time serving my clients."

— Molly Kremer

“I just couldn't be happier working with Vittoria and if you're not working with her I recommend you do!

When I came to Vittoria, I had a webinar funnel that I needed to get up and running quickly. I needed a beautiful design (because I wanted it to be gorgeous!) and Vittoria delivered.

I do know quite a bit about the software but she's just so much faster at it than me and has so much more knowledge and I just cannot recommend working with her enough!

— Emily Deagle-Green

My Clients Come to Me Because...

I'm not selling you hypothetical freedom in some imagined future.

I'm in the trenches with you now, fixing the thing that's costing you money this month.

I've watched hundreds of launches break in real time — from the inside.

I found my way into the Funnel Gorgeous world in 2019 and trained in Julie Chenell's world for years before joining the FG Funnels team in 2025. That last part looked like a support seat. It was actually a front-row view of every possible way a funnel can fail, failing, on repeat, at scale. I don't guess where buyers leak. I recognize it.

I'll never make you choose between a pretty funnel and a converting one.

That's a false choice the industry invented so it could sell you half a solution twice. You get both. It usually works better that way anyway.

I love tech, but I'm never making your business about tech.

Tech holds up your strategy. It doesn't get to be another thing you manage.

This is a safe space to vent, cry, spiral, or all three in one call.

I'll sit in it with you, and then we'll zoom out and go fix the thing.

Other Principles I Live and Work By

Bailey and Kahlua (my dogs) are the real bosses. I just work for them. They may appear on our calls to keep us both honest, and I will absolutely pause a strategy session to show you a photo — asked or unasked.
I put perfume on for our Zoom calls. You cannot smell it. I am fully aware you cannot smell it. I do it anyway, because getting on a call with you counts as an occasion.
I think converting your chaos into a clean map might be my actual spiritual gift.

American junk food is the best food, which is a wild thing to say out loud as an Argentine. I'm sorry. S'mores Pop-Tarts and a Dr Pepper are top tier and I won't be taking questions. (Basically, if you eat breakfast dessert, we speak the same language.)
I have strong feelings about email etiquette. "FYI" and "nudge" are a love language.
I don't do hustle culture, bro marketing, or vibes-only manifestation. I do direct honesty, real strategy, and the occasional terrible dad joke.

If your sales are meh compared to the effort you're pouring in, it's not a discipline problem and it's not a you problem. It's a path problem, and paths are fixable.

You've already done the hard part. You built something people love.

So let's go find the leak. Nadie se salva solo — nobody gets out of the mess alone. We get out in a caravan. Vamos.

One real leak, every week. Free. Start there.

Or if you're past reading and ready to fix it:

If your sales are meh compared to the effort you're pouring in, it's not a discipline problem and it's not a you problem. It's a path problem, and paths are fixable.

You've already done the hard part. You built something people love.

So let's go find the leak. Nadie se salva solo — nobody gets out of the mess alone. We get out in a caravan. Vamos.

One real leak, every week. Free. Start there.

Or if you're past reading and ready to fix it:

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